


every inch of you is perfect

by sharkhwa



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Seongjoong, Swimmer San, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 21:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkhwa/pseuds/sharkhwa
Summary: Wooyoung gets a little self-conscious about his body. Luckily, San is there to make him feel better.





	every inch of you is perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [murmurmeow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmurmeow/gifts).

> Writing a Woosan was the last thing I expected myself to do... but look at me now!
> 
> For Daria, because she loves those two a lot <3 Also a big thanks to Rene for the grammar check and the help with the coding!

Sometimes Wooyoung wondered if he really needed to finish college in order to get a decent job in the future. 

Don’t get him wrong. It wasn’t laziness or lack of motivation speaking. Wooyoung actually enjoyed studying a lot. He liked learning about new things (especially those he found interesting), and he could honestly say that it was one of his favourite things to do since he was a kid.

What he didn’t like as much though, was getting swamped with multiple assignments left and right at the same time, each deadline shorter than the previous one. 

He wasn’t necessarily the biggest fan of the emotional and physical exhaustion that came with him pulling several all-nighters a week (so that he could finish everything on time), either. 

Wooyoung was just so _tired_.

But as much as Wooyoung wished he could be doing something entirely different right now, here he was – slouched in front of his laptop with his legs crossed, continuing to type away on his keyboard, even though the words had long since stopped making any sense.

Wooyoung carefully scanned the new sentence he had just written down with a frown and tsked after he finished, not liking what he saw. He adjusted his thick framed glasses that slipped down his nose with a finger and erased the ugly looking jumble of words. And then, got rid of the whole paragraph it was a part of. 

“Ugh, fuck this,” Wooyoung whined, running his fingers through his hair and pulling at it lightly.

The desire to smash his face into the keyboard only grew with each passing moment and Wooyoung just wished for some kind of distraction. He needed a break.

As if on cue, a loud vibrating sound broke the silence of the otherwise quiet room. 

Wooyoung looked away from the screen and turned his face in the direction of his phone, currently sitting on top of one of the cupboards located further in his bedroom. 

He always tried to put his phone as far away from himself as possible so that he wouldn’t be tempted to keep checking his social media notifications every few seconds. Normally, Wooyoung would ignore the annoying buzzing. This time, however, he got up immediately and snatched the little black device off the piece of furniture with the speed of light. 

When he saw the name of the intruder, he involuntarily smiled. Perhaps, for the first time that day.

san ☀️  
  
hi babe, u busy? <3  
  


Wooyoung padded back to his desk with the phone in his hand and flopped down into the spinning chair, making himself comfortable.

studying ):  
but i think i’m gonna take a break soon  
why?  
can i drop by for a bit then?? i’m free!  
  


Wooyoung glanced back at the unfinished essay he had been working on for the better part of the day and winced. He knew he shouldn’t put off finishing the assignment till the very last moment... but the need to see his boyfriend’s dimpled smile easily won over the responsible part of him.

sure!!  
  


Wooyoung stared at the opened chat for a minute and tilted his head to the side, thinking. San was never free on Thursdays. That was something new.

wait  
aren’t u supposed to be hanging out with the guys tonight?  
it’s thursday  
nah  
seonghwa bailed on us again  
and then me and the rest of the team decided that we’re not really in a mood for anything big   
so i’m all yours (ﾉ´ з `)ノ  
  


Wooyoung snorted and shook his head slowly. He had an idea on what had happened. Seonghwa’s recent “fuck buddies arrangement” was the talk of their friend group at the moment and Wooyoung could easily imagine the oldest getting a text and dropping everything he was doing in order to get his dick sucked by his long time crush. Wooyoung just hoped nobody would get hurt in the process.

ok romeo  
hurry up so we can cuddle  
or do something else  
;)  
already out of the building!!!  
btw should i grab smth for us to eat on the way?  
there’s this really cool new thai place near the pool  
watcha think?  
  


Wooyoung glanced at the empty instant noodle cup sitting on his desk and bit his lip. He was conflicted. He devoured a large sized cup of ramyeon not even an hour ago... but at the same time, he really liked eating together with San and he didn't want to miss out on it. Wooyoung shrugged his shoulders and quickly typed a message back.

sounds good to me!  
ok! be there in 20  
love u  
  


A soft smile bloomed on Wooyoung’s face as he sent San a short “love u more” text in return and got up from the spinning chair he was sitting in. 

He stretched his arms above his head and let out a content sigh after a series of little cracking sounds followed the motion. Then, he grabbed his t-shirt and brought it closer to his nose, sniffling twice. Wooyoung pressed his lips together in a thin line and decided that taking a shower would probably be a good idea – especially since San usually got pretty handsy the very moment he stepped into Wooyoung’s place. 

Around five minutes later, Wooyoung was already standing under the stream of water falling from the overhead shower in his and Yeosang’s shared bathroom. The drops wet Wooyoung’s hair and trickled down his body as he absentmindedly hummed a melody of some foreign song, which he had most likely heard San singing at some point when he last came over. 

Wooyoung felt his mood lifting. The prospect of seeing his boyfriend shortly making the corners of his lips turn upward against his own will. It was “The Choi San Effect” as Wooyoung liked to call it. San somehow always managed to make everything better – the earlier stress caused by the unfinished essay pushed to the back of Wooyoung’s mind, forgotten.

The warm feeling in Wooyoung’s chest disappeared as soon as it spread, though.

While stepping out of the shower, Wooyoung’s eyes landed on the full length mirror hanging on the bathroom wall in front of him, and he felt his whole body momentarily freeze. 

He stared back at his reflection with a blank expression, not moving from his spot, a sinking feeling starting to pull at his abdomen.

Wooyoung suddenly felt like throwing up. 

After a few moments had passed, Wooyoung finally fully stepped out of the shower, his movements much slower than usual. He seemed not able to tear his eyes away from the mirror. He approached his naked reflection like a cautious animal trying its best not to draw attention of the nearby predator. 

When Wooyoung got close enough to the mirror, he examined his body intently. 

Somehow, he hadn’t been aware of any change in his body before today. But right now, it was all he could see and look at.

Wooyoung’s breath hitched as his hands skimmed over his stomach. His chin trembled and he felt his eyes burn as he noticed how visibly it stuck out. He squeezed his belly lightly and regretted it almost immediately. He felt disgusted seeing the soft skin slightly jiggle when he released it.

He felt himself _panic_. 

Just as his chest tightened and tears threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes, Wooyoung heard a loud ring of the doorbell cut through the quiet apartment. 

“Fuck.” 

He completely forgot about San.

Wooyoung run out of the bathroom with a towel loosely wrapped around his hips, and shouted a quick “give me five minutes!” in the direction of the doorway. He stumbled over his own feet as he sharply turned the corner, and burst into his bedroom.

He forcefully opened his wardrobe, the old furniture making an annoying squeaking sound, and hurriedly dig through everything he owned, not caring about some of the clothes falling to the floor in the process. 

“No,” Wooyoung pleaded under his breath, not being able to find anything fitting. “Not this. _Ugh_. This is even worse. Oh my _god–_” 

Wooyoung cursed and grit his teeth together. The burning sensation behind his eyes was back. 

Wooyoung’s whole closet was filled with countless outfits that left little to the imagination. He normally loved showing his skin, especially when he was around San… but right now, he hated himself for owning so many revealing clothes. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cover himself up with as many layers of material as he possibly could. 

“_Hey, Woo! Did you die out there?_” Wooyoung heard San’s muffled call from behind the closed door.

“N-No! Just–”, Wooyung eyes fell to the old fluffy hoodie shoved into the bottom corner of his closet. “I’m gonna be there in a sec!” he shouted back, trying his best not to let his voice crack and the urge to cry win. 

Wooyoung put on a random t-shirt he also managed to find and then pulled the thick hoodie over his head, making a mess out of his hair. 

When he finally opened the door to the apartment, Wooyoung’s breathing was ragged and his cheeks were pink from all the haste. 

San looked at Wooyoung’s face and blinked a few times, visibly confused. 

“Er… is everything… alright?” San asked slowly instead of attacking the other with hugs, as he would usually do as a form of greeting.

“Y-yeah. Come in, come in,” Wooyoung waved a hand at San and beckoned him inside.

The truth was, Wooyoung was far from alright. He didn’t plan on ruining what was supposed to be a nice evening with bringing up his little bathroom breakdown, though. 

San regarded Wooyoung for a moment, one of his eyebrows raised high, but didn’t say anything else and stepped into the apartment as he was told to. 

“Yeosang’s home?” San questioned, looking around the place curiously while Wooyoung was busy locking the door behind them. 

“No,” Wooyoung muttered, struggling with the old lock. “I think he said something about helping Jongho out with his photography project?” Wooyoung tried his best to sound as natural as possible and not let his internal crisis show. 

“Honestly, I have no idea. I wasn’t really listening when he was leaving in the morning. It was way too early for my brain to function properly,” Wooyoung managed to let out a short laugh. He felt kind of proud of himself when it didn’t turn out sounding awfully fake.

“Nice!” San grinned and swung a celebratory fist pump, his expression bright. “We have the place all to ourselves then,” he added, and there was this glint in his eyes that always meant he was up to no good. 

“Mhm.” 

San’s wide smile faltered a little at the lack of enthusiasm coming from Wooyoung. He scratched his neck and looked at his boyfriend guiltily. 

“You sure I’m not interrupting you?” San winced. “If you’re too busy, I can just leave the food here and go back to my place. If you want,” he delicately waved the plastic bag filled with takeout he bought between the two of them. 

When Wooyoung’s eyes took in all the food that San brought with him, he felt the hollowness in his abdomen return. He didn’t want to touch it. He didn’t even want to think about how his stomach would look like after he ate all that. 

But Wooyoung wasn’t going to make San feel like he did something wrong (when he obviously didn’t) and disregard his efforts to make the evening enjoyable for the both of them.

Wooyoung shook his head and swatted San’s shoulder lightly, “No, you’re not. If you were, I wouldn’t have told you to come in the first place,” Wooyoung hoped that his reassuring smile was convincing enough. 

Wooyoung was being honest – he didn’t want San to leave. It wasn’t San’s fault that Wooyoung started randomly freaking out over food and his body. 

He took the plastic bag from San’s hand and turned, walking straight to the kitchen. The bag felt heavy in Wooyoung’s grip, but not because of its weight. It was the awareness of having to consume its content soon.

San stood in his spot near the doorway, unmoving. His eyes filled with concern as they followed Wooyoung around the apartment. He suspected something was not as right as Wooyoung wanted to make it seem. 

“Why are you still standing there like a creep? Come on!” Wooyoung called from the kitchen, his voice sounding lighter than before, and it was the thing that finally made San to follow him. _Maybe I’m just imagining things_, he thought. 

They took everything out from the rustling bag, put it on plates instead of keeping it in the original paper containers, and then walked back to the living room together. 

Yeosang hated when Wooyoung made a mess (friendship with Seonghwa visibly starting to rub off on him) so Wooyoung tried his best to keep their shared space as clean as possible to not cause trouble. That meant “no paper cups dripping with grease allowed in the living room.” 

When they both settled on the couch, San immediately dug in his portion of (a bit overpriced) thai food, a contented hum leaving his lips as soon as he tasted the first bite. Wooyoung on the other hand, only stared at his own serving as if it would bite him if he brought it too close to his mouth. He stirred it with his chopsticks, not really eating it. Just playing with it. 

San was quick to notice. 

“You don’t like it?”

Wooyoung shook his head slowly , “No, that’s not it. I guess I’m just not as hungry as I thought I was, haha,” he answered, without looking San in the eyes, his throat tight. 

“Hey, what’s up with Seonghwa by the way? Was it what I think it was and he chose getting laid over the team again?” Wooyoung was desperate and tried to switch the subject away from food to anything else as fast as possible.

San regarded Wooyoung for a moment, “Yeah… Hongjoong messaged him as soon as we finished doing the last few laps...” San answered slowly, not really taking the bait and immediately getting back to the topic from before. “Are you sure it’s _just_ you not feeling hungry? Maybe you’re getting sick from all the studying?” 

San put down his plate on the table and moved closer to Wooyoung on the couch. His hand found Wooyoung’s forehead and he checked for any signs of sickness. 

It was equally warm as San’s hand. 

San’s eyebrows drew together in confusion and Wooyoung begged in his mind for San to stop pushing the subject. 

“Babe, I’m okay.” 

San didn’t seem very convinced.

“I’m okay. _Really_.” Wooyoung stressed. 

Wooyoung knew he shouldn’t hide the real reason why he was acting so weird from San, but it just felt like such an unimportant thing to bring up. He generally didn’t feel like talking about it right now, either. 

After some more convincing, San finally gave up and let Wooyoung have this one. 

Wooyoung decided that putting on some movie would be a good way to try and make the atmosphere feel a little less awkward. He picked out one of San’s all time favourite movies, but it didn’t distract him as well as Wooyoung hoped it would. San kept side eyeing Wooyoung every few seconds, not really paying attention to what was going on the screen.

San’s burning gaze made Wooyoung shift in his spot.

“Do I have something on my face?” he joked, trying to sound lighthearted, and turned his head to face the other. 

San stared quietly at Wooyoung, his gaze flicking down from Wooyoung’s eyes to his lips and back up.

“It’s been an hour since I got here and I still haven’t touched you in any way,” he started, “I’m literally dying to kiss you… but I still feel like something is not right, so I don’t want to push it.” 

Wooyoung’s heart squeezed lightly in his chest. San was too precious for his own good. 

“You can kiss me if you want to.”

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Wooyoung said, not being able to stop the soft smile from forming. 

How could Wooyoung ever say no to San asking for a kiss? 

And who knows? Maybe the kiss would help Wooyoung tune out all the nasty things constantly running through his mind since the moment he stepped out of the shower. 

San scooted closer to Wooyoung on the couch and carefully placed a hand on Wooyoung’s cheek. He ran his thumb over the soft skin there and looked right into his eyes, once again making sure Wooyoung was truly okay with this.

Wooyoung gave him a little nod in answer. 

It was enough for San to move forward and connect their lips together. 

Wooyoung’s eyes instinctively fluttered closed at the feeling of soft pressure against his mouth, a pleased hum leaving them in the process. It felt nice. For the first time in the past hour his mind was free of negative thoughts. He was focused only on the boy in front of him. 

The kiss was sweet and unhurried until San tipped Wooyoung’s head back a little bit to get a better angle. He licked at Wooyoung’s lips, silently asking him to open them a little wider and let him in. 

Wooyoung did as he was prompted to and opened his mouth enough for San’s tongue to slip inside, the kiss growing more heated. 

More and more soft whimpers started to involuntarily leave Wooyoung, and when San decided to bite Wooyoung’s lower lip and suck on it right after, Wooyoung moaned and tightly squeezed San’s forearm in response.

Some shuffling and rearranging followed, both of the boys trying to find the most comfortable position for them to kiss in. 

They ended up with Wooyoung’s back pressed to the couch and San straddling his waist, both of San’s hands delicately placed on either side of Wooyoung’s face. Wooyoung’s heart was beating so fast he started to wonder if he was falling in love all over again. 

“You’re so fucking pretty,” San whispered, gazing lovingly into Wooyoung’s eyes and then sinking down to steal another kiss. 

Wooyoung’s expression twitched and the spell he had been under broke. The pleasant squeeze in his chest was suddenly replaced by the remnants of the uncomfortable tightness from before. 

“I’m not...” Wooyoung whispered, too quiet to actually be heard by the other. 

Wooyoung tried his best to concentrate on what they were doing instead of the ugly thoughts flashing through his mind again. 

Kissing was nice. Kissing San in particular was even nicer. Wooyoung needed to focus on _that_. 

Just as Wooyoung began to get into the kiss again, San disconnected their lips and with a quick peck to Wooyoung’s jaw, he straightened. 

San grabbed the hem of his own t-shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing the thing away without care and revealing his bare chest. 

Wooyoung’s breath hitched at the sight. 

Not because of how gorgeous his boyfriend looked without his clothes on. Not because of the toned body, lean muscles and flat stomach (the perfect example of a swimmer’s body) he was presented with. 

It was because of how different his and San’s figures looked. 

He couldn’t help but compare himself to the athletic body in front of him.

Wooyoung’s vision got blurry at the reminder of his own stomach, hidden by the thick material of the hoodie, and the scary prospect of having to show it to somebody that wasn’t himself. Even if that somebody was San. 

Before he realised, Wooyoung was crying. 

Just as the first tear slipped down his cheek, San was already off Wooyoung and putting some distance between the two of them. 

“Woo, what happened? Did I do something?” San asked hurriedly, his hands hanging awkwardly in the air, not knowing what exactly to do with them. 

Wooyoung rose to a sitting position, but instead of answering the questions, he pressed the insides of his palms to his eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming, and shook his head to the sides.

“Woo…” San got off the couch and crouched in front of Wooyoung, putting his hands on Wooyoung’s thighs and squeezing them lightly. “Baby, _please_ talk to me.”

Wooyoung opened his mouth to speak but instead of words, what left him was a broken sob. 

“Hey, hey–” San tried to calm Wooyoung down by gently running his palms up and down Wooyoung’s thighs in what he hoped was a relaxing motion. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You know you can tell me anything, right? What’s wrong, love?”

It took a few more minutes of San’s whispered reassurances for Wooyoung to finally detach his palms from his face and look at him. 

San’s heart hurt at the sight of the bloodshot and puffy eyes staring back at him. 

San moved and slowly took a seat on the couch next to Wooyoung again, close but not too close. He carefully took one of Wooyoung’s free hands in his own and squeezed it lightly two times. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong, baby?” 

Wooyoung hesitated for a second but eventually decided to talk. He dropped his gaze to his lap and an incoherent jumble of words left his lips. Too quiet and too fast for San to understand.

“Wait, please, slow down a little,” San asked, trying his hardest to catch what his boyfriend was trying to tell him. 

Wooyoung took a deep breath to steady himself and repeated what he said. Louder, this time. 

“Why do you even want to touch me when I look like this…” 

The confusion on San’s face was hard to mistake for anything else.

“What… do you mean? I don’t understand,” San’s eyebrows knitted together. He had no idea what Wooyoung meant by “like this”. 

Wooyoung took another breath. This time it was shakier and less stable than the previous one.

“I look awful,” Wooyoung started again, feeling his voice tremble dangerously. “I didn’t notice it before, but when I looked at myself in the mirror earlier today, I realised how fucking _disgusting_ I look.” 

No matter how hard Wooyoung tried to stop it, his eyes shone with tears once again. 

“And I know It’s probably all because I left the team and stopped swimming together with you guys. All I did for the past few months was sit in one place, study and eat trash,” Now, different from before, instead of keeping them all in, Wooyoung couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth. “I just can’t believe how horribly fat I got and how ugly it makes me look–” 

“Sorry, let me stop you here for a moment.” 

Wooyoung blinked at San’s interruption. Few of the tears that previously gathered in his eyes slipping down his face in the process. 

“Since when does fat equals ugly?” San asked.

That question made Wooyoung so confused. 

“What?”

“I asked, since when does fat equals ugly?” San repeated himself.

“Since… always?” 

“Well, it _shouldn’t_,” San stressed. “And besides, fat is the last word anybody would describe you with,” he continued. “You look perfectly healthy.”

Wooyoung was about to stop San and disagree but San carried on with presenting his point of view. 

“It breaks my heart to hear you say things like that about yourself, Woo.” 

San intertwined their fingers together and raised their connected hands to his lips, kissing the back of Wooyoung’s hand lightly. 

“You’re honestly the most gorgeous person I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” San went on, trying to keep an eye contact with Wooyoung. “To this day, I’m not really sure how in the world did I manage to score such an amazing boyfriend. Beautiful inside and out. Complete package,” he said, smiling at Wooyoung with so much adoration in his gaze that Wooyoung needed to look away. 

“Stop it,” Wooyoung whined quietly. 

Hearing all those things made Wooyoung feel weird. A little uneasy but pleasantly warm inside at the same time. It was just so different from the way Wooyoung thought about himself. 

“Never.”

“_San_,” Wooyoung turned back to face San and gave him a squinty look. A look he sometimes used when they were being playful with each other. 

It was a sign for San that Wooyoung got more comfortable. 

He wanted to somehow make his mood better.

“What?” San smiled his dimpled smile and gave Wooyoung’s hand another feathery kiss. “Baby, if you only knew how many nights the thought of you had kept me awake in the middle of the night,” he added, using a little less serious tone of voice this time. 

Wooyoung couldn’t hold the snort in. 

“What the hell,” Wooyoung laughed against his own will. “Wait– Are you saying what I think you’re saying–“ 

“Open to interpretation.” 

“Jesus,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and swatted San’s shoulder, something in his chest slowly unlocking. He felt like he could breathe again. “You’re impossible.”

“I’m impossibly in love with you.” 

“_Stop it,_” Wooyoung whined again, this time louder. His head fell to San’s shoulder. 

“Nope.”

Wooyoung hid his face in San’s neck and nuzzled against it, breathing in his scent. 

“Hold me?” Wooyoung’s tiny request came after a moment of silence. So quiet, it was barely audible. 

But enough for San to hear. 

“Of course.”

He put his arms around Wooyoung, one of his hands coming up to pat the other’s soft hair, while still holding him close.

They stayed like this for a while. The only sound in the room was the sound of their steady breathing. 

After what felt like hours, San was the first one to talk. 

“Are you feeling any better?” 

Instead of answering with words, Wooyoung simply nodded his head twice and hummed. 

“I’m glad,” San whispered, continuing to play with Wooyoung’s hair. 

“The Choi San Effect” was proven to be effective once more. When Wooyoung finally detached himself from his boyfriend, he felt a lot calmer than before. He felt at peace.

He felt a little silly about how emotional he got, too.

“I’m sorry.” 

San shook his head quickly and took Wooyoung’s face in his hands again. “No, no. You have nothing to be sorry about,” he assured. “Everyone can get a little self conscious from time to time. It’s completely natural.” 

“But,” San continued. “Look at me, baby,” he tapped his fingers against Wooyoung’s soft cheek so that he would look him in the eyes. “I would really appreciate it if you told me when you’re not feeling well next time, instead of pretending to be okay. So I could try to help you.”

“Okay.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise,” Wooyoung swore, looking into San’s beautiful brown eyes. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” 

Wooyoung must’ve done something truly heroic in his past life to deserve this. To deserve San. The amount of support and love he was being given made Wooyoung want to cry again. But instead of crying, he flashed the boy in front of him the biggest and brightest smile he possibly could, wanting to show just how much happiness he filled his heart with.

San’s breath hitched at the sight and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing the tip of Wooyoung’s cute nose. Then, he left a little kiss on his right cheek. And then, on the adorable tiny mole under one of his eyes. He began to attack Wooyoung’s whole face with feather light kisses until the boy in his lap couldn’t stop the high pitched giggles from leaving his lips. 

With that, the heavy atmosphere from before was gone, replaced by both – loud laughter and quietly repeated whispers of “I love you.” 

When Wooyoung laid on his living room couch like this, with his body entirely wrapped around San’s, and listened to his warm voice singing some foreign song he didn’t fully understand... he realised just how happy and in love he was. One look into the other’s loving eyes was enough for Wooyoung to forget about all the negativity for a moment. 

One look into the other’s loving eyes was enough for Wooyoung to feel like the most _beautiful_ person in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ♡
> 
> If you want to talk Ateez to me, or just simply become friends, you can find me on Twitter! My Atiny stan account is @sharkhwa!


End file.
